Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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