I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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