so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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