is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize