East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you would pick up someone in the library
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
