i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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