Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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