that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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