I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
