we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
