i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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