he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I look better un-naked...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
