I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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