It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
