It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
