you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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