I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
