RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
