god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
