I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
