Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
