Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
