I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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