If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
birth control should be required to get into college
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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