Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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