It's Friday. Sex?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
