I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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