Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
