She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
