just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
