Yo dont text me then not text me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
