I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
