Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize