Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize