"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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