Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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