Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
