So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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