sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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