Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
