mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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