Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
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