i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
