Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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