fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
