After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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