i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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