TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
