I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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