I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
