Its about making memories worth repressing
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
