Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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