i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
