anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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