I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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