I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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