Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
