She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
