So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize